Diary: 2018…

… was a tough one. Lots of funerals and no weddings isn’t fun. I hadn’t really noticed that I’d reached this notable life stage until people around me began finally signing off. Beginning with the first deep cut of losing a favourite aunt, the last two years have taken my closest friend and neighbour, a younger cousin and two uncles. Then in June 2018 grief showed me how it could amplify itself fourfold. My father in law died. George – my father in law, my husband’s father, my daughter’s grandfather and my son’s grandfather. So much loss in one big hit.

One of the results of all this was having to give up Bailey, the rescue doggo we’d had since October 2017. He needed so much more than we could give him with everything that was going on.

Resilient was never a word I’d have used to describe myself in the past, but if 2018 has shown me anything it’s that resilience is achievable and that I have the ability to nurture it. Finding that ability has involved two therapists and masses of extra curricular reading and research. At last I’m finding that my mind is mostly clear and less confused. I know myself in a way I never have in my whole adult life. I have control of myself and I’m content with that.


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